Imzadi to Lose
by Sonne al'Vere
Summary: A mysterious guest affects the Imzadi connection in a curious way.
1. Fallen Foreshadowed

Deanna Troi woke up sweating. Seldom had her dreams been so cruel and dysfunctional. He wasn't gone from her life just yet, though. She turned only her head to see Will comfortably sleeping next to her. He had come in late, apparently, and slept now in full uniform. His arm rested on hers as she lay on her back. She felt proud and wanted in ways that he'd never let her feel before. Without disturbing him, the counselor slipped out of the covers and stood watching him in the dim ten percent light he must have left on in the room. He shifted, and she hoped to see his eyes open. Desperately she vowed to bathe in them-the ice blue Alaskan sea that had become her cold comfort home. Instead, his comm badge beeped, and he remained asleep. Deanna proceeded to her mirror and stood staring blankly at her own reflection. She tried relaxing her muscles, but the lines on her face persisted. She didn't mind the lines of age that much-even her mother had aged well-it was the worry lines that bothered her. The semi-permanent distress markings that would serve in any other soul as a cry for help in front of a counselor's desk.  
  
"I will not contact her," she whispered to herself, "not Mother. There is no need to ask her for relationship advice."  
  
Commander Riker rolled onto his back and stretched his arm out involuntarily.  
  
"We don't want to lose each other, but I know I will lose him. I dream of it every night, in place of those dreams of longing I used to have."  
  
The dark-haired woman then noticed the peach coloring of her satin sleep set. She wondered if it was perhaps a bit too young for her, but the concluded that the only troublesome thing about the attire was a neckline all too high for her lover's taste. And in the mirror, she noticed him sit up, reclining on his hands, folded familiarly behind his head.  
  
"Riker to Troi. I need to say good morning."  
  
She put on a smile and sat on the edge of the bed.  
  
"Commander, the only thing you will be getting from me is breakfast."  
  
"No complaints." His grin was wide, but he soon roped his arms around her waste and pulled her to him for a welcomed kiss. She remained pressed to him, in an embrace, but then stood up and strode confidently to the food replicator.  
  
"Four eggs, over easy, and a chocolate milkshake with two straws." She couldn't help but be romantic. The replicator complied, producing an adequate milkshake and four over easy fuschia eggs.  
  
"My dear, the food complicator needs to know what type of eggs you'd prefer. Either that, or some little kid elsewhere on the ship is quite disappointed that his eggs turned out white and yellow."  
  
Troi ignored the food and returned to bed. Her glowing eyes erased all signs of age except her worry lines. And in that instant she kissed him once more, opening her mind to his and refusing to allow the emotions to subside. She knew he felt overwhelmed, but she persisted until he cried.  
  
"Will, that was not my intention, I just."  
  
"Don't be sad. I am devoting my life to making you happy, Deanna."  
  
"Oh, Will, you do-"  
  
A transmission interrupted her outpouring. "Crusher to Troi, I need you in Sickbay." 


	2. A Time For Comfort

The pain and emptiness that Deanna had been experiencing in the last few days grew as Will Riker accompanied her to Sickbay. Her eyes were set straight ahead, though the seldom-prevailing, less professional side of her wanted to hold Will's hand. Usually when she wanted to hold his hand, it was for his sake. He needed the help. As this abstract feeling grew, it was now she that needed him. She wasn't exactly opening her mind up to Will right now, but she was seeing as much as she could of his own mind. A distinct image of the sun pouring through a rugged wooden window pane was very strong in his mind at the moment. He then thought of sleeping next to her; he seemed to compare the fresh warmth of her body to the rays of sun that felt so comfortable at home. The pair displayed a twin expression of shock as they entered Sickbay. It was Wesley Crusher who was on the bio-bed in his crisply new red uniform. Beverly turned. Deanna expected her friend and colleague to display the bereaved face the doctor often wore in private, or when thinking of Jack. Her emotions conveyed that expression, but it was apparent that Beverly was doing the best she could to be professional.  
  
"I'm worried about being professional where my love life is concerned," Deanna thought, "and look how selfish I have been."  
  
Deanna embraced her friend. Beverly made it seem as awkward as she always felt when she was on the receiving end of comforting attention. The doctor then backed away and looked at the pair.  
  
"It seems like some type of multiple personality disorder." Beverly's eyes began to tear, but she continued. "He came to me to tell me that something was wrong. Data came with him insisting that Wesley seemed fine, but that he should see me, and then he just lapsed, as if he were another person. He wasn't acting violent and I had him lay down here, but as soon as I started to determine his seratonin levels-the most basic step of course-he started flailing his arms and he just wasn't my Wesley. Data restrained him until I was able to prepare a sedative.do you want me to wake him to speak to you or. what else should I do?"  
  
Beverly wound her hands around each other busily, as if washing them. She looked awkward with no other patients to tend and no tricorder in her hand. Deanna sensed and saw the guilt Beverly felt, but knew that more than anything, she just wanted answers about what had suddenly taken Wesley by surprise.  
  
"We will have to wake him up, Berverly. I think it would be best if the Captain was here, and notified.  
  
"If I was in her position," she thought, "I'd want Will here."  
  
"Jean-Luc is presently detained," Beverly replied somewhat coldly, "with your mother. In Ten Forward."  
  
Riker would have chuckled had surrounding situations been any different. He placed a hand meaningfully on Beverly's shoulder.  
  
"I'm sure he's trying to escape," he assured the doctor. "I will bring him here personally. I'd get Data back in here, too, just in case." Riker avoided looking at the Ensign on the table, but Deanna was quite focused on him.  
  
Beverly nodded with a somber determination as Deanna helped her sit, wait and watch. 


	3. Unexpected Companionship

When Riker saw what he did, he sat himself down at the bar immediately. Was he seeing this? Lwaxana Troi and Captain Picard were mutually enjoying a conversation with each other. At a table. In public. Without Deanna there, while Beverly was hanging over her son's life and death matter.  
  
"The troubled mind of William Riker," Mrs. Troi announced to the half- filled room, "yes, he worries."  
  
Will stared forward, wondering where Guinan was and if even the wise bartender was capable of saving him now. He could hear Lwaxana Troi's chuckle as she approached the bar. Will turned. Surprisingly, the captain followed with an expression on his face that might commonly be worn by a dependent child.  
  
"Captain," Will nodded, "Mrs. Troi. I unfortunately bring bad news, but Deanna and Dr. Crusher felt that you should be apprised." Riker looked directly into his captain's eyes as he said this.  
  
"My Deanna? Whatever have you done to her now, you brute!" Troi confronted, knocking him on his chest with an uncharacteristically painful gesture.  
  
Picard drew his arm about Lwaxana's shoulders. "Now now, Lwaxana, I'm sure nothing too painful. What seems to be the matter, Will?"  
  
Riker held his chin up a bit, and adapted a younger, more resentful tone with his superior.  
  
"Ensign Wesley Crusher is incapacitated. His mother suspects it has something to do with a sudden mental affliction, but is not sure. Deanna felt that you should be there."  
  
Riker avoided looking at Lwaxana. He was familiar with her maternally probing eyes. The eyes that cried over births or deaths, or when they found out her daughter wouldn't marry for yet another year. And after all the time and jest, it really hurt him. Somehow he knew that the overprotective woman was right. Traditionally, she would be a typical mother-in-law; always critical and fussing. But she had always been a wonderful and supportive mother to Deanna. Always strong-surely that's where her daughter learned how to hold an incredible amount of strength. Mrs. Troi would be an exceptional grandmother. Good with children and better at spoiling them, he could imagine several romantic getaways with Deanna alone despite having a wonderful family to travel with as well.  
  
But as he thought about Lwaxana, he stared into the eyes of Jean-Luc Picard. The eyes that teared. Will hoped he'd act accordingly-as a warm friend at the very least-with Beverly. 


End file.
